Well, I finally did it. Summoned up enough strength and good humour to brave the rigours of.... Christmas shopping.
The good humour didn't last long, but I guess you had already predicted that.
Why, oh why, oh bloody why is it that people who have never seen each other for donkey's years always manage to bump into each other in the middle of the narrowest sodding aisle in Marks and Sparks/Fenwick/Bainbridges etc, and then have to catch up on the last 25 years of chat and gossip ("little Mercedes is at junior school now/having her third kid"... "Did you hear about our Wayne"... "I see Elsie's passed on" etc etc etc. By the time they've caught up to 1985 the entire shop has come to a standstill around them and at least one fellow customer (ie Me) can feel blood pressure rising to hitherto unheard of levels.
I can see why people think Argos is a good idea - the "laminated book of dreams" always seems a practical and stress free alternative to having to fight your way through countless shops, all of which are "temporarily out of stock" of all the damned things you are looking for. A good idea, that is, until you actually get there and see the hordes of track suited chavs desperate to get their hands on the latest Jordan jewellery for "our Leeanne" whilst picking up a couple of new sovereign rings for themselves.
Next year the whole lot's getting done on Amazon.
PS - If you're struggling for a last minute pressie, why not try the new "Boils My Piss" shop! Just click on the ads at the side and bottom of the page to be transported into a veritable retail wonderland. And make me some cash at the same time......
